The Super Bowl is finally here — which means you might be in danger of violating some major Super Bowl Party Dos and Don’ts.
DO wear a jersey of a team that is playing in the big game.
DON’T effin wear the jersey of your team that not only did not make it to the Super Bowl, but didn’t even make it to the playoffs. Don’t be that guy (or gal).
While we are on the subject of jerseys, ladies, please stop wearing pink jerseys. It’s not cute when Jessica Simpson does it and it certainly isn’t cute when you do it either. Pink is for baby showers and Pepto, not football.
DO bring some beer over to the house where you will be watching the game. Chances are there will already be beer, but who cares. You can never have too much.
DON’T opt out of bringing beer then proceed to complain about the kind the host is offering. “Oh, all you have is Bud Light? Eeee, um, I’m all set. I’ll just drink some milk.”
DO ask the host prior to Sunday if they’d like you to bring over some sort of food or chips. Just like beer, there is no such thing as too much food.
DON’T bring over something stupid and/or gross like a veggie platter or chopped liver with rye bread squares just to say you brought something. You’re not sitting Shiva, this is the Super Bowl, idiot.
DO feel free to discuss the commercials that air during the Super Bowl.
DON’T wait until the game is back on to talk about a commercial that just ended and expect everyone to turn their attention to you doing an impression of the E* Trade baby doing a touchdown dance in his highchair.
DO ask the host at the end of the game if they need help with anything, such as cleaning or taking some food or beer off their hands.
DON’T just start grabbing as much food and beer as you can carry and make a beeline for the door. Chances are you’ll be drunk and probably trip on your way out and embarrass yourself more than you already have — you scavenger.
Good luck! Hopefully, these Super Bowl Party Dos and Don’ts keep you from being the party pariah in the future. Now, the question is — are you going to a crappy Super Bowl Party? Here are 12 warning signs!