30 Fantasy Baseball Team Names: Hey Baby, What’s Yo’ Name!
Yeti Vedder helps. That’s what he does. He helped you name your Fantasy Football team, and now he’s offering up some ideas for Fantasy Baseball team names. As a matter of fact, we’d love to hear some of your submissions for great Fantasy Baseball team names! Either comment below or send a tweet to us @DavidGonos — let’s hear it!
“Take me out to the ball game, take me out with the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks, I don’t care if I never get back. So let’s root, root, root for the home team, if they don’t win, it’s a shame! For it’s one, two, three strikes, you’re out, at the old ball game!”
That’s right folks! It is Yeti Vedder’s favorite time of year! Baseball is back and that means Fantasy Baseball is also back. Everyone looks forward to drafting their team. It’s an art you take seriously.
While my man David Gonos can help you with all of your Fantasy Baseball team issues, I am here for a more important one. Naming your team. Baseball is a looong season and having a great team name is important. Do you want to be the funny guy in your league?!? Maybe you are all business … In that case, you are boring! Here are some simple ideas to help you name your squad!
*Rusty Kuntz On Your Face – Rusty Kuntz was a REAL baseball player. So anyone that thinks that I am just a pervert you are only somewhat correct! He now serves as a first base coach for the Royals, so if you need any coaching at first base — Rusty Kuntz is your man! How is this not a better selling jersey in Kansas City?!?
*Albert’s Poo-Holes – How great is it for people looking for ideas for Fantasy Baseball team names that one of the best players in the game has a last name pronounced with the words poo and holes in it? But the fact that these two words are combined is like a team naming guru’s wet dream! If you have Albert on your team and you don’t use those key words then shame on you!
*Bobby Cox In Your Mouth – Do you see a trend starting here? Kuntz on your face … Poo-Holes … Cox In Your Mouth … It is the simple art of finding baseball people with funny last names and making them mean something completely perverted or disgusting. Yeti Vedder has made this into an art form. Plus, Bobby Cox just looks like a dirty old man.
*Heyward Jablow Me – Do you see? Have you seen how my mind works?!? They need to write another “Beautiful Mind” movie about the horrible things I think about. Thank you, Jason Heyward.
*Who Are These Astros? – This works in a couple of ways. If you have a rough draft and can’t name a bunch of your players. BOOM! This team name is perfect. If you have a couple Astros on your team (you poor, poor man!) then you can also use this team name. If you like the fact that Astros kind of sounds like assholes, then you are also welcome.
*Body Shots With Josh Hamilton – Rangers OF Josh Hamilton took some of the awesomest pictures ever taken by a baseball player that talks about God all the time. If he is on your team, then you must take advantage of these photos. Nothing like Josh Hamilton doing body shots off of a couple of 5′s (out of 10) to make your team really look like a contender!
*A-Rod’s Dealer - Alex Rodriguez did steroids. So did a lot of other players. You can use numerous players with the “dealer” team name. I choose A-Rod because I hate him.
*The Brauny Brawny Men – Speaking of steroids why not use a paper towel company slogan to represent your team. Ryan Braun will be a stud and in order to use his name with your team, this slogan works just swell. The Quicker Picker Upton works as well, but I would stick to this one for now.
*The Kemp-ire Strikes Back – So you are a Star Wars nerd AND you do Fantasy Baseball?!? One question — Have you ever seen a naked lady before? I kid, I kid!!! Matt Kemp owners should be psyched and this is a strong name for any team featuring this stud!
*B. Inge Drinking - It puts two of my favorite things together. Boozing and baseball! P.S. If your team has Brandon Inge to quote Joe Namath, “You’re st-rugg-ling!”
*Don’t Tell Me No Lies, And Keep Johan’s To Yourself - Taking the Georgia Satellite’s classic song and using it for your team name? You’re welcome, world! The only concern about this is that it is a very long name and your team is still counting on Johan Santana.
*The Human Cespedes - This name is just all around solid. It has a solid player included with a movie that is a cult classic. If you don’t know “The Human Centipede,” then please check it out, but ONLY if you have a strong stomach! No pun intended? That even made me LOL!!!
*Tulo Windows, Tulo Walls – To the sweat drip down my balls! Oh skeet, skeet mo f&*$#!!! WHAT! OKAY!!!
*He’s Just Not That Shin-Soo Choo – Take a bad movie and a mediocre outfielder and what do you get?!? Fantasy Baseball Team Names GOLD!!! Big League Choo also works!
*Sipping On Gin And Youk – Laid back … With my mind on YOUR money and your money on my mind. Unless I have Kevin Youkilis on my team. Then there is a good chance you will be getting my money. By the way, as a Red Sox fan I must point out that Youk has the biggest head in baseball. He isn’t stuck up, but rather he has a gigantic head!
This picture is way better then any photo of Mike Trout!
*You Know You Make Me Wanna TROUT! - “OTIS MY MAN!” If you are lucky enough to have Mike Trout, this team name is solid. The song is great in “Animal House,” at weddings, and when using this Mike Trout team name!
*Pocket Full Of Posey- Ashes, ashes we all fall down! If you have Buster Poser you could also use Buster Rhymes, but I prefer the children’s rhyme over the Buster Rhymes. P.S. Buster Posey is a stud!
*The Price Is Wrong, Bitch! – Sure, you have David Price. Sure, you can use “The Price Is Right.” But “Happy Gilmore” is way funnier than any episode of TPIR. I bid one dollar and may god have mercy on your soul!
*Kershawshank Redemption – I wish I could tell you that Clayton fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that — but Fantasy Baseball is no fairy-tale world.
*I Need TP For My Buchholz – I am Corholio! When you can use a Beavis and Butthead reference it is okay in my book!
*That’s A Clown Question Bro – Not many things scare me. Bryce Harper does. And so do clowns. Not because they are scary, but because grown men actually go to colleges to become one! Side note: What are some of the majors at clown college?
*Melky Discharge – How do you have the name Melky and not take advantage of it somehow? I try to keep this a family show. P.S. See Fantasy Baseball team names No. 1 if you take that seriously.
*BJ? I Can’t Get It Upton – Simple and straight to the point. Melky… BJ… Must-use names. The question mark makes this awesome!
*Fister? I Barely Know Her – The question mark strikes again!!! You stay classy, Doug Fister!
*You Gotta Fight, For Your Wright, To Party! – Mets 3B David Wright’s name can be used in a lot of different ways. This is simply perfect for a Mets fan. First, you own David Wright. Then, you get to mix that in with one of the Beastie’s best tunes? You’re welcome!
*Latos Intolerance – You can’t drink milk and can’t put up with another mediocre year from Mat with one “t”!
*I Love The Smell Of Papelbon In The Morning – Great movie. Great line. No one wants to smell Pap in the a.m., though.
*Eva(n) Longoria – Gonos will hate this, but all Evan Longoria owners that complain about his injuries will simply love it. [Editor's note: Yeti Vedder, you just made "The List"!]
*A-Rod Is A Centaur – This team name simply allows you to use the picture that A-Rod has hanging in his house. The one of him as a centaur.
*Prince And The New Power Generation – So what happened after you played Prince Fielder at Fantasy Basebal!?! He made you pancakes!?! Sounds about right. Game! Blouses!
While the names are kinda weird “Dangling Nasal Cavities”? The guys over at Razzball.com have a funny Fantasy Baseball Team Names generator. And the guys on this forum have a couple good ones, too, including “The plouffe is on fiers.”
We hope you enjoyed these 30 Fantasy Baseball team names! Any questions or comments can be directed to Yeti on Twitter @YetiVedder. He’d love to hear from you!