In honor of me waking up on the wrong side of the bed, and then remaining grumpy throughout the day, I thought I’d share with you my list of five annoying guys we all hate. I don’t just mean the meter maid or a referee, I’m talking about REALLY annoying guys that make you want to punch a kitten.
Everybody has dealt with this guy – you make a trade in your Fantasy Baseball league with a buddy you always trade with, and this guy chimes in immediately, calling it collusion. (Granted, he thought ‘collusion” was a collision under water – but still.)
There are a few reasons why you sometimes make trades with friends: 1. They like to make trades, and so do you. 2. You likely see them/talk to them a lot, opening up several chances for league/team talk to develop. (Think Nationals/Reds during the Jim Bowden days).
Before calling collusion on people because they always trade with each other, think things through.
What you deem a horrible deal for one owner could be considered by someone else a horrible deal for the other owner. I’ve never been a fan of allowing commissioners to veto trades. Trades are subjective, and adding a commissioner’s point of view just muddles things, especially since he likely has a team in the league too.
If you joined a league with people you consider competent, then shut your yap and play the game.
I hate when guys try to bait you into asking them a question. They say stuff like,
- “Boy, I’m surprised I’m still alive after that!”
- “I can’t eat apples … Well, not since ‘the incident.’”
- [BIG SIGH!!!] “I just don’t know anymore.”
Then they just wait for you. After learning of this species of dopes, now I just react like this, “Yep.” Then I put on my headphones.
Again, we’re talking about Fantasy trades. After making a Fantasy Baseball or a Fantasy Football trade, THIS guy always ends up sending me an email, “Why didn’t you ask me about a trade? I would have given you way more for that guy!”
If that was the case, you should have made the offer. Schmuck.
Assess your strengths, your weaknesses, and what others see more value in.
Is there anything more off-putting than being in a bathroom stall, only to hear some douche come in and sit in the stall next to you – while he’s carrying on a conversation with an unknowing participant. Drives me nuts. So what do I do in that situation? I quickly flush a few times, just to make sure the other guy on the phone knows they’re talking to an idiot in a bathroom.
Good lord, man, follow the 15 Men’s Restroom Rules. You obviously violated Rule No. 10!
There are few things more exasperating than watching an owner pick up a free agent off of the unowned pile, then immediately try to trade him to you, along with some other garbage. It usually happens much more in Fantasy Football, when an owner tries to parlay that third spot in the waiver-wire order into an RB2.
What did you do? Well, you do the only thing you can do. You post the trade on Facebook and immediately ridicule him for his ridiculous offer. I guarantee that next time, he’ll come with a better offer.
OK, OK, so I admit, sometime I like dealing with annoying guys — it’s fun!
David Gonos spent 5 years as a CBSSports.com Senior Fantasy Writer and three more years writing with SI.com. Over the past 17 years, his work has been published on NFL.com, MLB.com, FanDuel, FoxSports.com and USA Today. Since 2001, he has been tracking down the Top 50-plus Free Fantasy Football Draft Tools online. You can contact David Gonos here.