2012 Best Fantasy Football Draft Party Locations Mock Draft

Aug 01

2012 Best Fantasy Football Draft Party Locations Mock Draft

How many more years do you think it will take for the Hallmark people, or if you’re a rich dude, the Papyrus people, to figure out that a Fantasy Football draft is actually a holiday? And where do you celebrate such a holiday? Where does one go for the best Fantasy Football Draft party? As my draft looms right around the corner, my wife is becoming more and more cognizant of how important this is to me. She knows I won’t useful in the weeks that lead up to my Sept. 2 draft. As the commissioner of my long running Memorial League, (A Memorial League is a league that pays tribute to a fallen soldier from the sports, entertainment or music Industries. Past examples include Michael Jackson, Randy the “Macho Man” Savage, Manute Bol, etc.) And much time is needed for preparations regarding Draft Day festivities. I have to: Get verbal and monetary confirmations of participation. Study the rules and make any necessary changes, as well as make a spreadsheet for owners. Ask for time off work to recuperate. Think up cool team names that are appropriate to the theme. Make a draft board — but most importantly … Reserve a location for the festivities. Having fun is probably the only reason my friends come back each year. It sure isn’t for the money. That’s why it’s so important to pick a spot that is conducive for an ideal draft. Over the years I’ve tried many sports bars in the area I live in and none have really stuck. There are some amazing places that you can go for your Fantasy Football Draft Party this year, depending on where you live. All you have to do is make sure that wherever you choose, the establishment provides amazing food, adequate beer selection, enough space for everyone and their paraphernalia, and a good atmosphere to make things...

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The Fat Man Olympics

Jul 21

The Fat Man Olympics

Michael Phelps – heard of him? He has 93 gold medals, farts rainbows and craps gold bullion. He has never heard of the fat man Olympics. The greatest athlete ever said in his autobiography that he eats about 12,000 calories a day. Twelve thousand. Even for a fat guy, that would be tough to accomplish. But his metabolism, workout regimen and the fact that he has made a deal with the devil, burns off the calories. Phelps’ typical breakfast? How about this: Three fried egg sandwiches (lettuce, tomato, fried onions and mayo), one omelet, one bowl of grits, three slices of French toast (with powdered sugar), and three chocolate chip pancakes. Me? I eat seven Cheerios and gain 18 pounds. So in the spirit of the Olympic Games, and in honor of Phelps’ 137 gold medals, I decided it’s time to come up with some events for the Fat Man Olympics that would turn me into a hero. I’m not talking about these speed-eating events that skinny Japanese guys win. No, I’m talking a TRUE test of fattitude.   The Fat Man Olympics     Water sports: Cannonball Some people point to the belly-flop as the true Fat Man’s watersport event — but that hurts. The cannonball, on the other hand, affects everyone else. A perfect “10.0” cannonball should induce a concussion. Water displacement makes for an easy measurement, too. Sleep apnea How many minutes can you stop breathing at random points in between snores throughout the night? I once stopped breathing for a whole weekend, then I smelled someone cooking bacon and it revived me in time for brunch. Furniture endurance Who can sit in a wicker chair and NOT break it the longest? Wing eating I’m not talking speed, but precision. How much meat can you take off the bones of 25 buffalo wings? I see these kids nowadays taking just one or two bites out of chicken wings before moving on to the next one, and I’m ashamed. It makes me think, “You know, there’s a fat kid in China that would kill for that extra meat.” Speed and willpower How quickly can you search through a stack of magazines to find one you haven’t read before...

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The Single Best Stadium Food Ever Involves (Surprise!) Bacon

Jul 08

The Single Best Stadium Food Ever Involves (Surprise!) Bacon

How do you know you’ve just eaten the best stadium food ever? Have you ever taken a bite of freedom? Have you ever heard the Vienna Boys Choir singing in your head while you chewed ballpark food? When was the last time you bit into something and your teeth cheered? Well, that happened to me on May 21, 2012, on a baseball trip to Oriole Park at Camden Yards with several buddies. Six of us went to Nationals Park in Washington D.C. over that weekend, stayed over into Monday, and then watched the Red Sox and Orioles in Baltimore. It was the 20th anniversary of the inaugural season of Camden Yards, and they had some new food items to celebrate it.   ‘I Guarantee You’ll Like It’ Walking up Eutaw Street, which runs between right field and the Warehouse at Camden Yards, we weren’t exactly hungry. We had eaten dinner about an hour or so earlier, and we had begun cycling beers through our bladders. We even passed up Boog’s BBQ, right after I grabbed a quick pic with Hall-of-Fame 1B Boog Powell. I tell you that to show you we weren’t famished and our incredible hunger did not trick us into thinking this treat I’m about to tell you about was better than it really was. As we slowly walked around Eutaw Street, we happened upon a small booth sponsored by Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey. I walked up to it to check out the beer can chickens they were displaying. As I got closer, I saw a big plank of meat that was hauntingly familiar.   It was like when you meet someone and you both know you’ve met before, but neither of you can name the time or place. Hello, huge slab of bacon on a stick. Nice to meet you. I later realized, like baconéjà vu, I had met this glistening piece of pork in a dream when I was 7 years old. (I woke up with phantom meat sweats that night.) I asked the weathered man behind the grill, who was busy grilling these thick slabs of bacon and dipping them into a vat of a sticky dark brown liquid, “What … is … this?”...

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Marlins Park Food – Best Food in the Majors?

Jun 15

Marlins Park Food – Best Food in the Majors?

This past Saturday night, I went to see the Miami Marlins take on my Tampa Bay Rays (sorry about the sweep, Fish) and to eat some great Marlins Park food. This was the third time I’ve gone to a game at Marlins Park, and I’ve gone out of my way to eat something different each time. And each time – I’ve found something awesome to eat! So I decided to give you a short tour through the Marlins Park food that I’ve been able to taste (and remember to get a picture of). One thing you’ll notice – I have not yet figured out how to take great pictures of food. They get the point across to you, but hopefully, my words will help describe the cuisine in such a way that you’ll be intrigued enough to try the food. There are lots of pictures of the food, but there’s also pictures of the menu in The Clevelander at the bottom.   Marlins Park Food Concessions First, let me try to explain all of the different restaurants on the property. Most of this is from memory, but it should give you a good idea of the options. Burger 305: They have a couple of these on the main concourse, but they have the main restaurant up in the club level. From what I’ve gathered, the club level restaurant is much better, and offers more options. The burger I want to try is the Shrimp Burger, which comes with chopped up gulf shrimp and key lime aioli. Sir Pizza: Doesn’t look that great and haven’t heard anything great about it. Metro Grill: Only in the club level. If you get up there, I hear great things about the Lime ‘n Lobster Roll, as well as the Steak And Wedge Sandwich. The latter is a seared beef tenderloin sandwich, with bacon, lettuce, tomato, bleu cheese, steak sauce and spicy fried onions on top. If you do end up getting this – bring me your leftovers! Fan Feast: At first look, this is just your normal chicken tenders/hot dog spot. But the Sobe Hot Dog should pique your interest. I’ll try it someday, but it didn’t excite me enough to forego any...

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A Day at The Clevelander at Marlins Park (Gallery)

May 14

A Day at The Clevelander at Marlins Park (Gallery)

A couple Mondays ago, my company took everyone to a Marlins matinee game against the Diamondbacks. They got us all tickets to “The Clevelander at Marlins Park,” which is a separate bar/club in left field at the new stadium. I had already visited Marlins Park on Opening Day and wrote a Baseball Fan’s Guide to Marlins Park. I told you how great the new stadium is and how baseball fans will love going here. The Clevelander is a local hotspot on South Beach that represents the international beach club scene in Marlins Park. And the team thought adding a bar area with a pool in left field would be just the thing to get locals out to more ballgames. It’s like having a Pat O’Brien’s in the Superdome in New Orleans or something equally non-sportsy and touristy. It’s like putting a baseball stadium in the middle of a club on South Beach. It’s like putting tits on a bull. Can you tell I’m not a big fan of it?   There’s No Club Music in Baseball!!! Maybe I’m being too harsh about it; after all, I had a good time, ate some great food and drank quality beers. There were beautiful women, either dressed in bikinis or just body paint up top. What’s not to like? Oh yeah, there was a baseball game going on, and I had no idea. Between the loud club music chiming in from behind you, and the low field-level seats in left field with a horrible perspective, it was very difficult to keep attentive to the game. The music was so loud, Arizona’s left fielder that day, Gerardo Parra, was quietly dancing to it in between pitches. There was a freaking bathroom attendant in the men’s room. I asked him if he was the bat boy, but he didn’t get it. I understand what the team is trying to do: they’re trying to get non-baseball fans out to the game for a great time. That’s completely understandable and I’m sincerely hopeful that this does it. This reminds me of a place that would be a cool date with someone that’s a bigger club-hopping fan than baseball fan. Then, after the game, you head out...

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CBS Fantasy Staff’s Hooters Wings Lunch (circa 2005)

Feb 12

CBS Fantasy Staff’s Hooters Wings Lunch (circa 2005)

If there ever was a lunch that begged for a blog, today’s was it. Over the past few months, it seems the blog lunch has certainly outgrown itself, with people always requesting reports on them weekly. Let me set this one up first with some background info. Dave Richard made a connection with one of our users (at CBSSports.com), Jay, who happened to be one of the regional managers for Hooters. After some personalized Fantasy Football advice, the wonderful gentleman offered to throw us a free Hooters wings party at our local store. You have to understand that for this group of guys, that was like the greatest gift of all. You know how they say, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”? Well, it’s not a great stretch to say that, “Hooters is a guy’s best friend.” Hooters is to Fantasy guys, what Dobish is to gay, pirate-themed karaoke bars. (When picturing Dobish, imagine Gallagher — but not so normal looking. He’s got a Category-5 hurricane going for a bald spot, so he’s rarely seen without a hat. Back to Hooters: When I was about 15 years old, my father took me to Lakeland, Fla.,  on a business trip and he was going on and on about the wings at this new place called Hooters. Central Florida is the birthplace of this fine establishment. The original was actually in Brandon (near Tampa), and rarely has a month gone by in my life that I haven’t frequented this place. Needless to say, I’m old school Hooters. Even my wife loves Hooters! (I proposed to her minutes after the first time she said to me, “Hey, let’s go to Hooters!”) Hooters wings get a bad rap. You often hear people complain about them and say, “Awww man, those wings aren’t buffalo wings!” And they’re right. They’re Hooters wings. They are absolutely awesome and they have a category all their own. It’s like saying the Final Four isn’t basketball because it’s not the NBA. Dave Richard invited all the Fantasy writers, as well as a number of co-workers that have helped the content group throughout the football season. Unfortunately, and understandably, he was only allowed to take a few guys, so there’s...

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