My Disney Poop Story

Oct 30

My Disney Poop Story

There are certain moments that seem to define your life. My trip to the bathroom at Disney about 10 years ago was one of those moments. This story is long, but the payoff is worth it. Don’t be discouraged just because it’s called a “poop story.”

It was a hot and humid day at the Magic Kingdom. I had just polished off a bread bowl full of clam chowder and the family decided to hit Splash Mountain.

Read More

15 Men’s Restroom Rules

Oct 25

15 Men’s Restroom Rules

Coming up with men’s restroom rules wasn’t that hard. I’ve worked in an office environment for most of my life, and it’s safe to say that I have learned the do’s, don’ts and doo-doos of sharing a bathroom with dozens of men from multiple businesses.

I have a lot of experience in the bathroom, I’m sort of a poop prodigy. My Disney Poop Story alone would make you think I’m a magnet for crazy things happening to me in public restrooms. Iv’e had 6-year-old boys eyeball me through the stall door until I was finished, and I’ve had toilets overflow in the stall next to me.

Read More

The Day George Brett Pooped Himself (VIDEO)

Jun 06

The Day George Brett Pooped Himself (VIDEO)

A couple of years ago, this video of Kansas City Royals Hall-of-Famer George Brett telling a poop story came out. He tells a wonderful tale of the time he crapped himself while standing in the lobby of the Bellagio. I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, George. You are one dirty third baseman. Please don’t shake my hand.” Before you read on, I’m going to ask that you watch the video, then rejoin me after the video.     So here are some items that I gleaned from this thing: He tells a new poop story at least twice a year. He likes crab legs – but he is unable to distinguish ones that have turned bad before eating them. If he’s ever standing still in a hotel lobby, walk the other way. Don’t ever borrow his leather jacket, jeans or shoes. Larry is a great friend. He’s like The Wolf on Pulp Fiction. I imagine this conversation happened at one point after Brett called him. “That gives us exactly — 40 minutes to get the poop out of your pants. Which, if you do what I say when I say it, should be plenty. Now, you’ve got diarrhea in your pants and soiled shoes in a bathroom stall. Take me to it.” Don’t ever get behind George Brett on an escalator. Other Royals players generally move around a lot and try not to look too interested in anything George has to say. Now here are some...

Read More
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: