Michael Phelps – heard of him? He has 93 gold medals, farts rainbows and craps gold bullion. He has never heard of the fat man Olympics. The greatest athlete ever said in his autobiography that he eats about 12,000 calories a day. Twelve thousand. Even for a fat guy, that would be tough to accomplish. But his metabolism, workout regimen and the fact that he has...

I inexplicably signed up to run a 5K this past Saturday morning in downtown Fort Lauderdale. No, they didn’t have All-You-Can-Eat Wings at the finish line, nor did they make me chase a cheeseburger wagon the entire course. I’m trying to get back into shape is all – back off! (Dieting makes me grumpy.) I‘ve run three 5Ks before (not on the same day), but they...